- Advice from a Beat Ambassador, Summer.
This post comes with a trigger warning due to the sensitive nature of the content described below. Please read with caution.
Firstly, congrats on beginning such an exciting new chapter in your life. University for many is a truly wonderful time and you’ve worked so hard to get here, so well done!
When I started University, I was actually diagnosed with Anorexia during Freshers’ Week. I know – not the fresh start you want! This was incredibly stressful for me, but the formal diagnosis, far from being a curse, provided me with access to the treatment that I needed. It’s unfair, and even illogical, that the healthcare system seems to work like this, and it’s why, now that I’ve recovered, I love working with Beat and their commitment to early intervention. What I want to share here is just some things that, with hindsight, could have helped me navigate starting university whilst in recovery from an eating disorder. Hopefully, they might help you too.
Fundamentally, finding a balance between throwing yourself into your new life and committing time and energy to recovery and treatment is key.
University offers so many amazing opportunities to find your new passions and interests. I tried out boxing (something I’d always wanted to do!), as well as writing for the student paper, and threw myself into finding a great group of new friends. Many of whom are, to this day, my closest friends. All of these things are brilliant and to be enjoyed. For me, they became more than just a distraction from my eating disorder, but a reason to beat it. I wanted to be able to box better - which meant properly fuelling my workouts - to be able to intellectually contribute to the student paper - which meant properly fuelling my brain - and of course, to spend time with people I was growing to love; my friends. This in particular was often the hardest because it involved so many social settings, and we know, social settings often involve food. And that food, is often our ‘fear foods’. This meant that I had to confront my fears and challenges head on. A healthy body, mind and spirit then became what I worked towards.
However, whilst building a new life provided me with an excellent motivation to beat my eating disorder, I also needed to make time for myself to recover through my treatment, and to rest. I was lucky enough to have access to a specialist eating disorders services and the University’s counselling service. If your university has a counselling services, it can definitely be worth seeking out help from them, and if you are transferring GPs from your home-town to where your University is, either your existing GP or your new GP will be able to provide guidance and try to get you the help you need. Beats’ helpline is of course, on hand too. In a new place, it’s easy to feel like your own, but please know help is always round the corner if you can ask for it.
Final thing I want to say is that it can feel a bit like you have to ‘come out’ to your friends about your disorder. You might think that they will be able to tell from your behaviour around food. Some might, but most won’t. They’ll mostly be wrapped up in their own experiences so don’t put on any pressure on yourself to feel as though you have to tell them. Once I felt confident in who my friends were, I confided in a close number that I was currently undergoing treatment for an eating disorder. Because our culture has a history of stigmatising mental illnesses, we often don’t talk openly about them enough, which not only makes it hard for you to open up to your friends, but also makes it hard for them to know how to respond. As someone who has also supported others through their mental illnesses, I think it’s best to hear from the person you’re supporting what you can do to help them. As your friends aren’t qualified therapists, I think it’s best to let them know that you know this, and that you are looking into getting the help you need, but you just wanted to let your friend know so they can be patient and understanding if you struggle in certain social scenarios (often involving food). Telling my friends really helped me because it felt like it removed an elephant in the room, and it also helped them understand why I acted how I did sometimes (i.e getting anxious about particular social engagements which they wouldn’t find remotely anxiety-inducing). My own experience was to encourage my friends not to alter their behaviour around me. I didn’t want them to think of me or of food any differently. Recovering from an eating disorder means living a more normal life. As much as possible, it’s great if you can immerse yourself in this life, rather than your eating disorders’. Your friends are a great gateway to this. In order to be able to really live this life though, you will need to make time for yourself, and your recovery.
As am Ambassador I always say, if I can recover, you can too! Enjoy your new university. It’s a magical time.